Sunday Simplicity

Good Sunday morning! It's a quiet one here in WNY! I'm sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee from my French press. I received that little gem of a gift from my cousin in Florida. It has become my new favorite thing. I love my French press! I am also thinking about our friends further south of me as they battle storm Jonas this weekend. I hope every one is staying safe, and are warm inside and out of the storm. 

There are just a few little things in my life that I have come to really appreciate. Sunrises and sunsets, a good cup of coffee (anytime) and Sunday mornings. Of course when you can combine any of these things, you get an amazing medley for a perfect, relaxing Sunday.

So what is it about Sundays for me? Well first, on Sunday, you can find me in my living room, curled up on the couch with a hot cup of coffee, watching out the window. I love coffee, as I said, anytime. But I love when that aroma fills the house on a Sunday morning. It's become an art to me to make it in my French press, and making it fresh that way has helped me to become more present and appreciative of my Sundays. It's about playing Pandora and enjoying Van Morrison's station. I love Van Morrison, but I have also come to enjoy some other old classics like Sinatra, Martin and Etta James, just to name a few. It's that day of rest before having to start the work week on Monday. It's about finding peace and quiet and just reveling in it for a little while. It's about taking the time to breathe and find some much needed focus in my life. 

On Sundays, I enjoy my softly played music, my quiet and coffee while waiting for the rest of the family to awaken. Some Sundays, my daughter and her boyfriend  will take a drive to Tim Horton's for some fresh bagels. I'll make more coffee while they're gone. Then we all sit in the living room together while we talk, and enjoy one each others company. 

Although, there are other times when I will just make us breakfast. Something I also truly enjoy, because who doesn't LOVE Sunday breakfast, right?! Again, it's about the smells that just fill the house whether I'm making pancakes or sautéing peppers, onions and garlic for some amazing scrambled eggs!! Today, we did some wonderful breakfast tacos as I was just in the mood for something different. 

They turned out so good!! Usually when I make breakfast, once we have eaten, the kids help me clean up and then, I'll make coffee and we will just sit and have our time together then. Either way, it works. 

When I was a little girl, Sundays was about family and being together. Stores and businesses were closed. Sunday was a day of rest and about just being with family. It bothers me that over the years, so many have lost those values. I don't think it was an intentional doing as it was what society as a whole has become. The value of time spent with family has fallen to the wayside of making the almighty dollar. I try hard to save Sundays. Even though my kids sometimes have to work them, I try to make sure that I am here and present for them before they go to work or when then come home from work. It all depends what shifts they're working as they vary. Sometimes, on a financial level, I have no choice but to work on the occasional Sunday myself. But I do try making it a point not to (if I can help it) for the sake of my family.  Money comes and goes. We can't take it with us when our lives end and life is too short to be working 8 days a week. 

As my day is winding down here (Yes, I have been working on this entry off and on all day), Aretha Franklin's "Ain't No Way" is playing on Pandora, it's time to get ready for the work week ahead. But there are still a few hours of my Sunday left, so I plan on enjoying them. So try a little Sunday simplicity for yourself. Find what makes YOU happy on a Sunday and do it. Sleep in, make coffee, make breakfast for the family and reconnect after a busy week. Take some time to just slow down. Remember to cherish those little moments and as always, embrace the positivity!

Powerball Madness and Finding Happiness

Hey Everyone! I hope everyone had a good week. It seems like it's been a while since I posted last. I am trying to get better at this whole blogging thing. But anyway, a little segue before I get into my topic. Last Monday, January 11th, my dad had knee replacement surgery.As with all surgeries, there is risk involved. Dad has a little more risk than others due to a heart condition...atrial fibrillation. We were told the surgery might be done by 9:30 am, but that it was a possibility that he might not get done until 10 am. We escorted him to just before the OR, and said our good luck wishes, gave kisses and said our I love yous.

While my mom, my daughter and I waited in the surgical lounge, there came a time where we started to become concerned. It was a little after 10 am. All these other doctors were coming out and talking to their patients families that had arrived around the same time as we did and there we sat. Every time the surgical lounge door opened, we expected to see my dads' doctor and it was someone else's doctor. It was well after 10 am and my mom started to cry insisting that something just had to be wrong.....this was taking too long. While trying to keep her calm, I began to get anxious myself. I tried desperately to just try and focus on my breathing and not make my mom more anxious than she already was. Finally at 10:30 or so, my dads' doctor came out to tell us that he was fine and everything went better than he expected. We all breathed a sigh of relief, cried a few tears and waited for him to come down to his room from recovery. Dad is doing pretty well, all things considered. 

So last week as the power ball reached the $1.5 BILLION jackpot, the nation was sent into a frenzy, picking numbers and buying tickets hoping to be the lucky winner!! Some people put in hundreds of dollars hoping they would have the winning combination. They had high hopes that this would be their ship sailing on in to port.  Some people were thinking that this money is the answer to all their financial woes and the answer to happiness. But is it? Would it be? I'll admit it. I spent about $10 on some numbers with hopes and dreams I would win. My daughter and her boyfriend spent a few bucks as well. We all said we wouldn't be greedy. Even a million would have made life a little easier. But would it make us happier?

As we sat there on Wednesday night waiting for the drawing, my 16 year old son said out loud, "No matter what happens guys, win or lose, we still have each other." I love that boy of mine. It's not like I needed that to be put into perspective for me, but he is right. In the end, family is what always matters the most. As I sit here now, typing out this blog entry, I can't help but think....if God forbid, something happened to my Dad during his surgery and he was no longer with us, no amount of money would bring him back to us. We couldn't buy new happiness to help us with the loss we would feel by losing a husband, a dad and a grandfather. $1.5 billion, or a million, it just wouldn't matter. Now mind you, IF, again....God forbid, something had happened to my dad, I doubt any of us would be thinking power ball tickets anyway, but you get my point. 

You can have all the money in the world. but it doesn't buy happiness. It might make you feel a little bit comfortable. It buys you things. But think about it, is it really things that make you happy? You could have anything you wanted, but I can't see how those "things" would make you happy. If you don't have the love of family and friends, would all those "things" even matter? 

I don't have a lot of material things. I have necessities. I also have wants, as most do. But, I have come to realize in my life that it's not the things that make you happy. Although I do have one exception to that....and that is my house. We moved, almost 3 years ago now, and I do have to say that my house changed me. Long story short, there was just some bad energy in our other home, despite some changes we tried to make. It just made me overall, a very miserable person and someone I didn't like very much. The move gave us a new outlook, a little more space and brand new energy that we provided....positive energy!! The kids even talked with my mom and said how the new house has changed me for the better. Everyone noticed a difference in me and we all believe it was the change of homes and having a fresh start. 

But, with that being said....my house is full of second hand furniture. We will need a new couch soon as the one we have has seen some better days, but it is still good for curling up on, and sitting on, but it is old and starting fall apart around the edges. But you know what? It's all good!! I recently just got a "new" (to me) vehicle....it was the most practical for me. I went from a 2005 vehicle with 170k miles to another 2005 vehicle with about 86k miles on it. I love it, and I am happy with it. It has a sunroof, a great stereo and it gets me where I need to go. 

But out of all of this....what is most important to me is my family. I have two of the most amazing parents and two amazing kids. I love all of them with all that I am. My kids are two wonderful young adults that are on pretty decent paths in their lives. I am nothing short of proud. My daughter has the most loving and caring guy in her life. They've been dating for about 3 years and I couldn't be happier for her that she has found someone that treats her as she deserves to be treated. 

Family should never be sacrificed for anything. They're too important. We only have a little while on this earth and we have to enjoy them while we are here. Remember to take time for them. Don't work so hard for the big house and the fancy car that you lose site of what's important. 

  I have spent the better part of the last 2-3 years of my life, if not longer, looking for happiness. I used to think money was needed to find that happiness. I have reflected even more so on my life since losing my cousin in August. I have learned that you don't necessarily need money to make you happy. 

You can't find happiness. You create it. You create it by making memories with your family, finding hobbies you enjoy, or just finding contentment in sitting out on a porch on a warm sunny day and taking in the moment. You surround yourself with positive people and share in happiness with them. Take in nature, breathe in life. Cherish every moment and always remember to embrace the positivity.

Chasing The Sunrise

I dropped my son off at school this morning and as I headed home, going east, it looked like there was a really pretty sunrise in the making. So I decided to pass home and find a pretty spot to grab a few shots. 

I have reached a point in my life where I feel like I need to just take advantage of moments like this. Time and life is just so precious. I let too many of these moments slip by. 

When I am headed to work, I'm usually headed west, but this morning, I decided to chase the sunrise. I don't get to just watch the sunrise nearly as much as I'd like to. 

These are just a friendly reminder that sometimes you just need to take in the beautiful sites that we are given every day and be thankful for them, no matter what might be going on in your life at a given time. Give yourself permission to find some peace. 

It's important to seek out the beauty, find the positivity and be thankful. 

Life is meant to be cherished. In a very busy world, it's ok to take a few moments out of your day cherish life's beautiful moments and embrace the positivity. 

Good Morning

Embracing the positivity of a brand new day that I have been graced with. Sometimes you just have to stop what your doing and take a moment to appreciate the new day that God has given you.  Remember to cherish each moment and embrace the positivity today and everyday!

Putting Life Into Perspective

Over the course of the past several years, in my life, I have had a few changes. The biggest one was separating from my husband of almost 14 years (at that time)  in 2009. We have been separated now for 6 years. Through 14 years of marriage, life was never easy. I understood that as a couple, there would be challenges, and I was willing to stand by him through those challenges and felt that as a couple, we would get through them together. Until one day I realized it wasn't just bad luck we were having that was causing us to face such challenges. It was his attitude. However, it wasn't until about a year before we were separated that I realized this. Now, 6 years later after the separation, my realizations have come full circle.

"Jon" always had a very negative and defeatist attitude about everything. When I would ask him why he was always so negative, he would tell me "I'm not being negative, I'm being a realist." At the time, that seemed like a perfectly acceptable answer and I began to defend his "realist" attitude. I lost all sight of what being positive should be and I set myself up for his failures because I knew the next "challenge" was always around the corner. I learned to expect them and believed we just were born to struggle as Jon said we were. Jon lost job after job and I would get every excuse in the book from "I'm just not fast enough" to " The boss doesn't like me". One would think he was back in second grade again, whining about how the teacher doesn't like him.  Every time he would start a new job, he would go in with the same old attitude and never a fresh clean slate.

I felt that attitude of his carry with me. I always had a low self esteem and lived constantly with the feelings that I wasn't good enough to do anything, but I have learned that his attitude and negativity affected me and who I was even further than what I had already thought of myself. The longer we were together, the more I began to feel that I wasn't worth better. He lost quite a few jobs in our marriage, and it just became a normal way of life for him. He became comfortable to the way we were living and it was always a struggle, yet he never did anything to make things better. It was acceptable to him that this was his life. He didn't want more for me, or our two children. 

Jon's life consisted of never doing any more or any less than what was needed  I don't think I ever wanted a lot. A nice, modest home and a safe, loving environment for our kids to grow up in. Long story short, when he lost his then current job after only working there a year, we decided it was time to work on separating from each other. Our marriage at that point became a marriage of convenience. In 2009, he finally moved out. 

I have come to learn over the past few years that much of what we are made of has every thing to do with energy. Things we do affect that energy. How we keep our space, who lives in our space and who even visits our space all effects our lives. I believe negative energy breeds negative energy and positive breeds positive. 

Good things happen when you have a more positive attitude. You can't allow yourself to be trapped into darkness by all that is negative. It will eat you alive. Literally. If you allow yourself to feel constantly stressed and take on negative energy, it can only make you ill. 

Without going into further details about "Jon" and I, lets just say Jon consistently and continues to dwell in all that is negative. He is still a small part of my life because of our two kids. Whenever Jon comes over, he is never without some kind of dramatic baggage. This Christmas eve/day when he càme over to see the kids was no different. Long story short, he had a car accident in his new car. But instead of being thankful that it wasn't much worse and that he was alive and not seriously or fatally injured, he whined about what a bad way he was in. What bad way? You're alive, aren't you? Cars are replaceable, human life isn't!! He spoke about how much the holidays make him depressed and how he has nothing. 

This is where I began to put my life into perspective. For the first time I realized that what happens to him is something I can't control. I need to stop worrying about things that are out of my control. I can't fix Jon, as much and as hard as I've tried. He dwells in a pit of darkness. He makes poor decisions and poor choices. I have too. I'm not perfect by any means. However, I am in the process of change. Positive changes. Surrounding myself with all that is good in my life. I have struggles like anyone else. We all do. But the trick is not getting so stuck in those struggles that you think that is where you belong. You deserve all that is good. We all do!! Life is good. It truly is and that's what we have to be thankful for. Don't look for all the bad in your life. Don't hold on to that. Find the the good. Cherish the precious moments and embrace the positivity! 

 

Keep Christmas With You

Merry Christmas and Happy holidays to all. I hope everyone had a beautiful and blessed Christmas. As I am sitting here this morning, having my coffee, I am reminded of one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite Christmas shows. Christmas Eve on Sesame Street.

For the younger generation that might not have seen it, I don't think it gets aired anymore, Big Bird ends up running all over town searching for the answer to the question asked to him by Oscar The Grouch, "How do you think a big guy like Santa Claus can get down those itty bitty chimneys?" And if that wasn't enough, Oscar also told him that if Santa can't down the chimneys, there'll be no presents on Christmas morning.

So the song I am about to post comes from that show.

http://youtu.be/Sd5PEVKuAro

Keep Christmas With You All Through The Year

When Christmas time is over and presents put away, don't be sad
There'll be so much to treasure about this Christmas day and the fun we've had
So may happy feelings to celebrate with you
And, oh, the good times hurry by so fast,
But even when it's over there's something you can do to make Christmas last

Keep Christmas with you
All through the year,
When Christmas is over,
You can keep it near.
Think of this Christmas day
When Christmas is far away.

Keep Christmas with you
All through the year,
When Christmas is over,
Save some Christmas cheer.
These precious moments,

Hold them very dear
And keep Christmas with you
All through the year.

Christmas means the spirit of giving
Peace and joy to you,
The goodness of loving,
The gladness of living;
These are Christmas too.

So, keep Christmas with you
All through the year,
When Christmas is over,
Save some Christmas cheer.
These precious moments,
Hold them very dear
And keep Christmas with you
All through the year.

As I said, one of my favorite songs. It just means the good feelings don't need to end at Christmas. We should keep those good, positive feelings all year long. Embrace them. Cherish them!!

Wishing everyone all the love and happiness for a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!! Cherish the moments, and embrace the positivity!!

Credits:
   Sesame Street
   The Children's Television Workshop

Positive Focus

I actually started this post on on 11/22. To be honest, I haven't felt much like writing the past couple of weeks. I thought about it several times, but after the terrorist attacks on Friday evening, November 13th in Paris, I have been having a hard time with my thoughts and a bit of anxiety. With that being said, and as hard as it is sometimes, we can't give in to fear and terror. 

I found myself on quite a few occasions this past two weeks having to take a step or two back and refocusing on what's right in front of me at any given moment. I found myself taking those moments to meditate and trying to be at peace. I needed to just refocus and channel positive thoughts and some positive energy. 

A few months ago, I started experimenting with meditation and was surprised at how it made me feel more calm and relaxed. I stumbled onto an app called "OMG, I can meditate" through the App Store. I found the woman's voice very calm and soothing. When you start the app, they give you a free week trial on ALL of the different meditations. Of course, once the week ends, then they want you to pay for it, and honestly, I found it a bit pricey. I just use it for the basic meditation practice. I am going to start looking for something else in the app department for meditation, and I am usually looking for articles online to help me as well. 

I feel it is so important to do what you can to help yourself get back into that positive state of mind and embracing the positivity. Otherwise, you just downward spiral and you're struggling to survive on a mental level. Just something as simple as being mindful of the present moment, taking the time to breathe and focus can be very helpful. 

I found my positivity again with Thanskgiving. We had a wonderful holiday with a nice dinner out, and a post Thanksgiving weekend get together at my home with my cousins! It was awesome to have the house filled with love and laughter. Since losing my second oldest cousin in August, I have felt a strong urge to make sure the rest of us all stay close. We definitely got that this weekend. 

Life is too short to live it in fear; to worry about things that might not ever happen. Overall, you to learn to control the things that only we can control. Keep yourself focused on the moments right in front of you, cherish them and always embrace the positivity.